


Memoria

by eorumverba



Series: timeline au [2]
Category: SHINee
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-31 00:58:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8556439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eorumverba/pseuds/eorumverba
Summary: If someone were to ask Jonghyun who the most important person in his life was, without hesitating, he would say Minho. But if asked what Minho was to him, Jonghyun would say he had no clue. Minho had been everything from a rival to a brother to a friend to, well. Minho was - is - everything.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: implied abuse

If someone were to ask Jonghyun who the most important person in his life was, without hesitating, he would say Minho. But if asked what Minho was to him, Jonghyun would say he had no clue. Minho had been everything from a rival to a brother to a friend to, well. Minho was - _is_ \- everything. Even from the beginning, Jonghyun had been attracted to Minho, his wide eyes and shy little frown, ruddy tan and scraped knees. Attracted like he wanted to both be this boy’s best friend and beat him at every video game _ever_. But mostly the former. Until of course, Minho had the nerve to humiliate him at soccer. What kid even _likes_ soccer anyway? Jonghyun blamed it on Minho’s freakishly tall genes.  


Jonghyun decided that he would beat Minho in every video game he owned the next day, just for revenge. And he did; gloated in Minho’s face for the rest of the afternoon and tried not to get even more offended when Minho barely blinked. And then he said that he’d let Jonghyun win, and Jonghyun decided that he does not like Minho. Of course, his family thought otherwise, and they started to carpool to school together and walk home with Sodam and Minseok, who - of _course_ \- hit it off naturally. Jonghyun kind of wanted to maybe punch Minho in the face.

He settled for tripping him at every available opportunity.

School though, was a lot different with Minho; he was the only one that knew “the new kid”, and by default, he was the one that was forced to show Minho around everywhere. Which was fine, except that all the older girls loved him because of his face (he wasn’t even _that_ attractive) and the teachers doted on him, and all the boys their age wanted to be his friend because he was some soccer prodigy, which is a total lie because Minho was a huge frog nerd and _no_ Jonghyun _is not his best friend, they just happen to be neighbors._

Jonghyun decides he hates Minho.

* * *

“You know, I hated you when we first met?” Jonghyun says it over their shared pint of ice cream (cookies and cream, his favorite), and Minho snorts. Jonghyun feels the sound against his back, and reaches back to elbow Minho in his side.

“I never guessed,” Minho sounds very sarcastic, and also very amused, “by the way you called me a frog when we first met. And how you used to always trip me.”

“Everyone liked you,” Jonghyun shrugs, “and I guess I was jealous? I don’t know. It was stupid. I was stupid.”

“Very true.”

“You weren’t supposed to agree so easily!” Jonghyun is scandalized, turns around and meets Minho’s amused little grin with a frown, “so mean.”

“I’m so sorry, Jonghyunnie.” Minho sounds anything but; he actually sounds like he’s about to burst out laughing.

“Don’t call me that…makes me sound like a kid.”

“That’s what you are, aren’t you?”

“I’m _older than you_.”

“You certainly don’t look it.”

“That’s a compliment, not an insult.”

“Depends on how you look at it. Remember how when we used to always go to the movies and to lunch and everyone thought you were my little brother?”

* * *

And Jonghyun did remember. How if they’d go out to eat, the server would automatically look to Minho, the (admittedly) taller of the two. How Minho would pass for an adult when he _was definitely not_ while Jonghyun still had to show his ID.

Or the first (and only) time they went out for ice cream, on Jonghyun’s treat. Jonghyun remembers it to this day: Minho was wearing a blazer over a plain shirt and jeans and he looked very model like and handsome, especially in comparison to Jonghyun’s oversized hoodie (Minho’s) and ripped jeans. The shop was full of teenage couples on first dates and parents with young children, and Jonghyun pointed this out to Minho in a loud stage whisper. Minho just grinned down at him and wow, he looked like a model.

“Don’t order the most expensive thing. My wallet is about as fat as you.” Jonghyun reached out and poked the firm flesh of Minho’s stomach through his shirt, “are those _abs?_ When have you been working out?”

“While you’ve been slacking at home.” A cheeky grin this time, and now they’re next to order.

“If by slacking you mean _studying_ and - one scoop of cookies and cream and another of caramel in a cone, thanks.”

“A scoop of rocky road and strawberry. And no,” Minho turned back to Jonghyun, made a point to ruffle his hair, “you’ve been on Steam a lot more than you’ve been studying.”

Jonghyun was about to retort when the server interrupted their argument with an, “It’s so nice to see brothers getting along. Are you treating your younger brother?” This last part was directed to Minho and Jonghyun bristled in anger.

“He’s _two years younger than me._ I’m paying.”

“It’s okay, Jonghyunnie, I can handle it.” Minho looked like he was enjoying this immensely and Jonghyun elbowed him in the side.

“I’m paying.” He slapped 10000 won on the counter and ignored Minho’s smug chuckles.

“Little brothers. So temperamental.”

“ _Choi Minho_ -” Jonghyun started, was interrupted by the ice cream thrust across the counter.

“Have a nice day!”

* * *

Jonghyun is oddly lonely the second day of Kibum’s trip to London; it’ll only be for a week but the feeling of sleeping alone and waking to a cold bed with no breakfast waiting for him and no one to kiss good morning…it’s weird. They’ve been together for years now and this is the first time he’s woken up without that and it’s so…

The doorbell rings, and Jonghyun - still in his pajamas - peeks out the window and brightens immediately when he sees Minho’s car parked out front. He hurries downstairs and answers the door, smiling wide when he sees the box of doughnuts.

“Hey Jjong. I had a feeling you’d be cooped up in here.”

“Hi Minho. Are those doughnuts?”

“Of course. Hungry?”

Jonghyun’s stomach growls and he nods. “I kind of…forgot to eat.”

“I know. Go shower and we’ll eat after okay?”

Jonghyun nods and practically skips up the stairs after breaking off half a doughnut.

When he comes back downstairs, Minho is seated comfortably in Kibum’s seat and Jonghyun hesitates, then sits next to him in his usual spot. “Why’d you come?”

“Just had a feeling you were lonely. It is past 4 and you’re not even dressed. You never liked to be alone for long.”

Jonghyun hums around a bite of jelly doughnut and nods slowly. “I couldn’t sleep well at all last night. It was too quiet.”

“Stay with me then. You can do all my chores.” Minho looks oddly serious, even if there is a smile threatening on the corners of his lips.

“Can I come over now then?”

“Do you want to bring a suitcase then?”

Jonghyun shrugs. “I can wear your clothes. Like how we used to.”

“You just want to wear my hoodies, don’t you.”

“I do not!” he definitely does, “they smell like you. Like old gym clothes and sweat.”

“I _do_ wash them, Jonghyunnie.”

“Stop calling me that,” Jonghyun nearly chokes, “god, I hated that nickname.”

“You liked it.” Minho teases, but stands and takes a sip of Jonghyun’s coffee. “I’ll start packing your stuff.”

“Okay,” Jonghyun chirps. He trusts Minho not to go through his stuff without permission.

* * *

The first time Minho got asked out, Jonghyun was there. Her name was Choi Jinri and she was very cute, very sweet, and close with Jonghyun’s other childhood friend Amber. Minho was polite when he turned her down, and she didn’t cry when he told her he just wanted to be friends. She just told him that he was a good guy, and she didn’t think he’d say yes. She knew who he was meant for. Her gaze slid over to Jonghyun when she said it, and Jonghyun felt like it was more of a warning than a challenge.

He looked away.

* * *

Jonghyun wakes up in Minho’s arms and he feels so…peaceful. He’s unusually warm (Minho’s body had always been almost uncomfortably warm, and Jonghyun had gotten used to it during all the years that they’d spent lying in bed together) and it feels so _natural_. So different from sleeping with Kibum. Minho’s arms are bare; he’s wearing a tank top and the material is soft against Jonghyun’s bare back and Jonghyun wiggles back so he’s closer to Minho and Minho stirs just long enough to wrap his arm around Jonghyun even tighter, pull him close and then press a gentle kiss to the back of his neck, and then there are gentle, quiet breaths against his skin and Jonghyun knows Minho has fallen asleep again.

Jonghyun is just about to close his eyes too when he sees something out the corner of his eye, and he freezes when he sees what’s there, because it’s Kibum. He looks ashen, lips turned down and his eyes are blank, and Jonghyun feels so, so guilty when they meet gazes.

Without needing to be told, Jonghyun slips out of Minho’s hold and walks past Kibum, trying not to flinch when Kibum raises a hand. Jonghyun almost feels bad when he wonders how long Kibum had been waiting there, but the stinging in his cheek makes him force his feelings down.

* * *

Jonghyun’s first kiss hadn’t been with Minho. He remembered _that_ kiss - his second, and the one he prefers to think of as his first - so clearly, but he’ll never forget his first, no matter how hard he tries to. His first had been at Kibum’s birthday: it had just been him, some kid named Woohyun and another kid named Taemin. Kibum doted on Taemin, and laughed his loud, obnoxious laugh with Woohyun, and Jonghyun didn’t know why he was invited. Another kid named Jongin came in late, and he kind of looked like Taemin, and once introduced to each other, Taemin and Jongin immediately hit it off. After pizza, Jongin suggested that they play a game, and then Woohyun started a chant up of Truth or Dare, and of course, Woohyun’s first dare was to Kibum: kiss the person next to you. Kibum had looked at Taemin on his right and Jonghyun on his left, and had promptly leaned in and pressed soft lips to Jonghyun’s.

They tasted like the bubblegum of his chapstick.

* * *

If Minho notices the light bruising on Jonghyun’s cheek and neck, he doesn’t comment; just gives Jonghyun a sad little grin and asks in a quiet voice if Jonghyun wants to see something cool.

They end up walking to the church where Jonghyun used to have his recitals and it’s unlocked; it always is. Jonghyun makes a beeline for the piano and Minho follows, sits in the first pew and Jonghyun sets his fingers to the keys. They’re trembling, but they grow stronger as they trip over the black and white tiles, remembering and improvising rhythms that are now mostly lost to time. He plays Bach and Beethoven and Schubert and Dvorak and Mendelssohn and leads those into more familiar tunes that Minho will recognize (Super Junior and TVXQ and Shinhwa) and he plays and plays until his fingers ache and as soon as he stops, Minho is applauding like he’s just played the piece of the century and Jonghyun wants to cry then, instead twists on the piano bench to face Minho.

“Do you want to hear a song I’ve written?”

“Of course.” Minho’s voice echoes throughout the empty room, warm and fond.

So Jonghyun plays and sings, Hallelujah and Deja Boo and Crazy and Diphylleia Grayi, and then he stops because if he sings anymore he’ll start to cry, and Minho seems to sense this, because he jogs up and next to Jonghyun, fitting himself on the narrow piano bench.

“Teach me?”

Okay. This is safe. Jonghyun nods, places his index on middle C and presses down. “This is middle C. It’s the center. Then is D, E, F natural, G, A and B. And then it repeats.”

In response, Minho copies Jonghyun’s scale; his fingers barely hesitating on the turnover. Jonghyun claps and Minho returns his wide grin; and Jonghyun continues.

* * *

Jonghyun was sixteen when Taemin introduced him to Jinki, and twenty when they introduced him to Eunsook. They make a good pair; they get each other just as much as Jonghyun and Minho do, and Eunsook is probably the only one that can calm them down when they get stupid ideas. The only thing Jonghyun doesn’t like about Taemin and Eunsook together is how nosy they are, and that they always try to get him with Minho.

He was happy when they started dating though.

“You deserve each other,” Jonghyun had said, very sincere.

Taemin grinned, then frowned, narrowing their eyes. “Is that a compliment or an insult?”

Jonghyun nearly choked on his soda, and Eunsook just sighed at them. 

* * *

When it gets to be too much, Jonghyun immediately finds himself on the way to Minho’s. He doesn’t even realize that it’s raining until Minho is pulling him inside and wrapping a thick towel around him. It feels so safe here, and Jonghyun fights off tears - lets them fall - when he lets his thoughts run wild. That Kibum let him go out in this weather without even trying to stop him, that he cares about Kibum so much, that Minho is more home to him than his own boyfriend. Or ex, probably.

Minho comes back with hot chocolate - exactly the way Jonghyun likes it, and only then does Jonghyun allow himself to cry. And Minho immediately has him in a tight embrace, doesn’t even flinch when Jonghyun’s tears drip on his skin and shirt.

Jonghyun cries harder then, because he realizes then, that he’s painfully, pathetically in love with Minho.

* * *

Neither of them went to prom. They spent it in Jonghyun’s bedroom; Minho was running a slight fever and Jonghyun…didn’t really want to go in the first place. Taemin and Jinki were there; Taemin had sent him snaps of him in a pretty blue dress and Jinki in a suit, looking uncomfortable. Jonghyun didn’t know if it’s because of the suit or because Taemin had his mouth pressed to Jinki’s neck.

Minho is stretched out on Jonghyun’s bed and Jonghyun flops down next to him, uncomfortably cramped but…it felt nice. Minho hummed when Jonghyun pressed his nose into Minho’s skin and Jonghyun giggled.

“You’re really warm.”

“I’m sick, Jonghyunnie.” his voice sounded rough, fond. Sleepy.

“Wanna nap?”

“Yeah.” One of Minho’s arms creeped up to hold Jonghyun around the waist and there was a bit of shifting and then they were spooning, Minho’s breath thick and warm against Jonghyun’s neck.

Without thinking, Jonghyun mumbles, “I wish it had been you.”

And Minho lets out a sleepy little laugh, and says, “I do too.”

* * *

It’s pitifully easy to see that Minho is in love with him. It’s in his eyes, his smile, the way his gaze travels to Jonghyun’s and his hand automatically falls to his hip to guide him through a crowd. It’s in the wordless are you okay’s and the way he does everything, everything he can just to make Jonghyun smile. Or at least forget about his problems.

Jonghyun doesn’t realize it though until Minho comes in for breakfast, sleepy eyed and messy hair. He mumbles a little good morning and shuffles to the table; sits and pillows his head on his folded arms, already half asleep again.

“Did you sleep well?”

Minho lifts his head, gives Jonghyun a sunny, sleepy smile, and nods. “I dreamt about you.”

And Jonghyun’s heart stops in his chest and everything just makes sense, and he stands and slips into the seat next to Minho’s and kisses him.

And it feels like coming home.


End file.
